


Rebuilding

by Starbird



Series: Someday Out of the Blue [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bodhi's Therapy Dog Raymond, Cassian is Scared of LuLaRoe, Crying, Daddy Issues, Dads and daughters, Don't Worry She'll Change Back, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Family Issues, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Jyn Has Changed, Jyn Has a Drinking Problem, Jyn Loves PBS, Moms and Daughters, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Relationship Issues, Series, Sharing a Bed, Single Parents, Smut, bed sharing, eventual rebelcaptain, families, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-21 20:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Starbird
Summary: Jyn and Cassian struggle to figure out how to move forward when the past catches up.**Part 2 of a 3-part series.**





	1. Chapter 1

_“It’s all over there on the table,” Cassian said, pointing to a small cardboard box. Jyn walked past him into his apartment, trying not to think about all the time she’d spent there. They’d stopped dating about fifteen months ago, but that didn’t mean they didn’t still hook up every now and then. After a late-night work event when they’d had too much to drink and only an empty apartment to go home to, or in response to a text message suggesting it. It had happened less and less as time had gone on…_

_And then Jyn had met Mike. And it had stopped altogether._

_She’d been smitten with him almost immediately. He was handsome, he laughed a lot, he was a big guy, and he was always sunny. Other than Cassian being the more handsome of the two, Mike was everything Cassian was not. Jyn wanted that. She yearned for that. She jumped right into the relationship, and it became serious within a month. He was all she could think about._

_She never talked about him to Cassian. A brief mention only, and only when necessary._

_“Thanks,” Jyn said, looking into the box and riffling through the objects inside. Toothpaste, a hairbrush, a couple pairs of underwear, a t-shirt, and a pair of pajamas. “I wondered where these went.”_

_“Well, they were here,” Cassian said. It was all so awkward. He drummed his fingers on the back of a chair. “I suppose you have to get back.”_

_“Not for a bit. I’m going to visit some friends in this part of town, so I’ve got some time here still.” Jyn lifted up the box and gave Cassian a smile, with effort. “Thanks, Cassian. I appreciate you doing this.”_

_He looked down and gripped the chairback. “Yeah, no problem.”_

_Jyn’s fingers clenched the box tighter. “I’m sorry.”_

_Cassian waved her off. “Don’t be. We broke up a long time ago. I’m glad to see you happy. I’m happy for you.”_

_“Are you?”_

_He smiled, and it looked painful._

_Jyn set the box back down on the table and stepped up to him. She pulled his straight arms away from the chair and turned him toward her. Then she hugged him, her arms around his neck, her cheek on his shoulder, and he hugged her back, pulling her tight to him. One of her hands slid down to rest on his chest._

_“We’re still friends,” she said. “We’ll still see each other.”_

_“Right,” Cassian said. “We barely speak as it is.”_

_Jyn let out a breath and closed her eyes. “I know.”_

_His hand drifted along the twisted hair at her temple, tracing it to the back of her head. “You look really pretty today.”_

_It wasn’t clear who made the move first, but her lips were on his neck, and his were on her temple. His hand came up and slid along her jaw, and Jyn turned her face into it and kissed his palm._

_“Don’t go,” he said quietly._

_“I don’t want to,” she replied in the same voice. Her lips trailed from his palm to the tips of his fingers, and then she closed her lips over one. She heard Cassian’s breath hitch, and it encouraged her. She removed her hands from his neck so she could hold onto his hand as she sucked on each of his fingers. Her eyes were closed, so she couldn’t see his expression, but he was utterly still._

_Jyn let his hand drop and raised herself up on her toes to kiss his neck again, her hands going to his belt and zipper._

_“Jyn – ”_

_“Quiet,” she whispered as she worked his pants down. She continued to kiss his neck as she pulled him free of his underwear, then lowered herself to her knees. When she took him into her mouth he inhaled sharply. She’d barely gotten a rhythm going before he pulled her up and crashed his lips into hers, his hands on her face, and her hands were on his face, too, kissing him back just as wildly. They each took turns removing clothes and moving back into the apartment toward Cassian’s bedroom. When Jyn laid back on the bed and he followed her, it was only another second before he was inside her. It was rough and hard and fast and shook the bed, and Jyn could hardly keep up with his pace and intensity._

_“There, there, there,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut tighter and concentrating. “You’ve almost got me. Don’t stop.”_

_“I won’t,” he said, his breathing ragged, his lips on every inch of her skin._

_She repeated her words again, and it didn’t take long until he’d pushed her sharply over the edge and she was coming so hard she dug her nails into him and held on._

_“Me, too,” he said into her ear. “I’m gonna come, too.”_

_They’d had a lot of sex during their time together, and a lot of it had been passionate like this. She was used to intensity from him. But this was something she’d never seen from him before. He was kissing every part of her he could reach, his kisses hurried and sloppy and desperate, as if he could absorb her into his body and keep her there forever, and he was moving so quickly and so roughly it was nearly too much for her to handle. Just as she was about to tell him to slow down he grabbed her hands and gripped them hard, and she watched his face as he experienced his pleasure, and she smiled._

_Then tears stung her eyes, because she knew she would never see him like that again._

* * *

_“Yeah, whoops!”_

_“It’s not a big deal.”_

_“No, seriously, don’t worry about it.”_

_“Forget it ever happened.”_

_“Yeah.”_

The memory of that night five years ago played over in Jyn’s mind as she stared at the email that had just appeared in her inbox: _The results of your Easy DNA Paternity Test are in!_ She remembered the drive back home, feeling the guilt, the tears, the wetness in her underwear. She remembered trying to act normal around Mike, being affectionate but still feeling Cassian on her and in her.

She remembered going to bed that night in nothing but her underwear, still not wanting to take them off, still wanting to feel him, and silently crying herself to sleep.

She remembered the weeks passing, and the plus sign on the pregnancy test. The joy she felt. Mike’s joy. The text to Cassian: _Don’t ever contact me again._ Hugging and laughing and celebrating with Mike.

The text messages back from Cassian:

_What?!_

_I don’t know why you’re doing this. Please talk to me._

_I’m sorry, whatever it is._

_Jyn, please. I know what happened was a mistake. I know we’re a mess, but we can work through it._

Then a month later: _Okay. I get it. I’ll leave you alone. I wish you the best. Maybe someday, you’ll tell me what happened, and I can explain whatever it is I did wrong. I hope you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you._

Telling their friends at the three-month mark. Telling her parents, his. Telling Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut. The questions on their lips and in their eyes about why Cassian and Kay weren’t allowed to be there to hear her news.

Taking pictures of her belly each week in the mirror. The baby shower. The contractions. The birth.

The dark brown hair. The tan complexion.

_“Definitely my hair,” Mike said with a smile, looking down at his baby girl. “Your chin, Jyn. My ears, my nose.”_

Jyn’s shaky smile. _She does have Mike’s hair. That little nose is definitely his, too._

The Jyn of the here and now took a third deep breath, and forced her shaking thumb to click on the email.

_Dear Ms. Jyn Erso…_

_Congratulations! You have a match…_

_Our test guarantees…_

_Backed by our…_

_The science behind DNA is…_

_Your results:_

Jyn closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in, then out, through her nose, then opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling of her kitchen.

She looked back at the email.

_Sample 1: Easton, Michael R._

_Negative_

Jyn blinked. Her mouth fell open. Her bottom lip began to quake. She scrolled a little bit further to read what she already knew:

_Sample 2: Andor, Cassian J._

She stared at the word until her tears blurred it:

_Positive_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn tells Cassian he’s Isobel’s father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this series has gotten so painful, guys. It’s not intentional, and it really didn’t start out that way!

**We need to talk.**

Cassian’s response had come five minutes later. _When/where?_

**My place. Now.**

_Okay. Give me 15 minutes, and I’ll be there._

Jyn put her phone down and looked up at the ceiling again. She didn’t know how she was going to tell him. _Hey, you’re a biological dad now! Sorry ’bout those last four years. Sorry I stole that from you. Sorry I’m a terrible person. Way back in the back of my mind I thought maybe it was possible, but I couldn’t deal with it and it didn’t SEEM possible, and I just couldn’t cope with the idea that I had fucked up_ that bad. _I really did think she was Mike’s. She could have been. You both have dark hair, and he was really tan when we met._

Isobel was at Baze and Chirrut’s, playing with their new foster child (and new kitten, which Baze was none too pleased with). Jyn was due to pick her up in a couple hours for dinner, at five, but Jyn texted Chirrut and asked if he would please feed her dinner.

 **Something came up** , she wrote. **I might need a little more time.**

 _Of course,_ Chirrut replied. _She’s having a great time anyway with Lizzie. She needs a sister! :P_

Jyn slammed her phone on the counter and poured herself a second glass of chardonnay. She was at the bottom of it and onto the third when the doorbell rang. Jyn picked up her glass and padded over to open it.

“Come in,” she said, but she couldn’t meet Cassian’s eyes.

He didn’t say anything, didn’t bother to make small talk. Jyn shut the door behind him.

“We can talk in the living room.” She pointed, and she still didn’t look at him as she went over and curled up on a sofa cushion. Cassian sat across from her in an armchair.

“Well?” he said. His voice was neutral, devoid of all emotion, the tone he used when he was out on assignment.

Jyn took another drink of her wine, then set it down carefully on a coaster next to her. She looked up at Cassian, hating how red and swollen her eyes must be.

“I got the test results back,” she said.

He crossed his arms and readjusted in the chair. “And?”

Jyn just looked down. She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t speak aloud how badly she’d screwed up.

“Okay,” Cassian said, and she let the silence stretch out while he absorbed the news. Finally, after what seemed like a very long time, he said, “Where do we go from here?”

Jyn shook her head and used the cuff of her sleeve to wipe a tear. “I don’t know.”

“Have you told Mike?”

She shook her head again. “I don’t know how. I wanted to tell you first, anyway. You deserved to hear it first. It was the least I could do after…after everything. After what I put you through.”

“It’s okay,” he said in a reassuring voice, but Jyn knew it wasn’t. How could it be?

Jyn reached for her glass and finished it off, then got up to refill it.

“How much have you had?” Cassian asked from the living room. “Please tell me that was an open bottle.”

Jyn ignored him and refilled her glass again. She heard him get up from the chair and come over, but she still ignored him, tipping the glass to her lips.

“Jyn, no,” he said, grabbing onto the glass. Jyn fought him, desperate for what inebriation gave her, but he was stronger, and he pried it away. “This isn’t going to fix anything!” He grabbed the bottle and dumped the contents of it and the glass down the drain. When he turned back around, he pulled Jyn to his chest, cupping the back of her head with his hand. “It’s okay,” he said again as her tears continued.

 “This is going to ruin Isobel’s life,” she said. “I can’t tell Mike.”

“You have to. What you have right now isn’t working anyway. Is it?”

“No, it’s a mess. A big huge fucking mess. I’m so behind at my job, and I have a giant presentation coming up, and Mike has turned into this huge dick, and I just can’t.” She swiped at her tears with her fingers. “I just _can’t_ anymore.”

Cassian put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back from him. Looking into her eyes, he said, “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” Jyn said. “You’re the reason all this is a mess to begin with. Because you’re…you…and I couldn’t…I couldn’t say goodbye. Until I had to.”

“Jyn, we _both_ made the decision to sleep together when you were with Mike,” Cassian said. “We _both_ didn’t use protection. You knew you were trying for a family with him. I didn’t know that. That doesn’t make me any less responsible. We both lost control, and now we’re in a bind. I just…I just want to know what _you_ want. What you _really_ want. Be honest with me. Please.”

Jyn again shook her head. Again, she was unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t know. To go back in time? To not have cheated on Mike and slept with you? Things would have been fine then. Mike and I would still be together and a family.”

“You don’t know that,” Cassian said. “You also wouldn’t have Isobel. Would you really want that?”

Jyn shook her head fervently. “Not for a second. She’s my whole world.”

“We can’t go back in time. We can only move forward. We just have to figure out how.”

Jyn swallowed. She knew that, but she was half-drunk, and she just wanted to curl up in bed with the covers over her head and make this nightmare go away.

She gathered her courage and looked up at him. “You know we can’t start over.”

“Why not?” he asked, again in the neutral voice.

“Because everything that happened…the way we broke up…then what happened last weekend… There’s just no way, Cassian.”

“I think, Jyn, that you just don’t want to try. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not even asking you to get back together with me or even go on a date with me. I’m just asking you to be civil to me, and to let me be a part of my daughter’s life.” He paused. “We can, um, Google it or something? Or talk to Luke or Chirrut?”

Jyn made a face. “I’m not talking to Luke about this. What would we even Google?”

“I don’t know.” He reached into his pocket for his phone.

Jyn pushed his hand and the phone down. “Don’t Google it.”

Cassian put his phone away. Jyn sighed.

“Look,” she said, “if there’s one thing I know how to do when things are really fucked up, or even moderately fucked up, or even barely fucked up, or even if there’s no reason at all, it’s cope in unhealthy ways. We have two and half to three hours before I have to pick up Isobel. If all else fails, Bodhi has an extra car seat and can pick her up for me. It’s happened before.”

Cassian frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jyn turned and reached up to her drinks cupboard. She got down two tumblers. “We’re going to get drunk, and we’re going to talk. You still like whiskey?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian get drunk and have a real conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for leaving comments and kudos! Same to subscribers and bookmarkers! And a big welcome to new readers! Thanks, guys!! <3

It didn’t take long for Jyn and Cassian to get completely wasted. Jyn was already tipsy, and with some dedication, they were able to get drunk pretty fast. Jyn got them glasses of water and tossed a bag of pretzels on the coffee table between them.

            “I cannot believe you got married to someone who sells LuLaRoe,” she said as she sat back down on the sofa, legs curled under her. She was in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a soft long-sleeved tee, and she truly valued comfort, but hell no would she pay $25 for leggings. She didn’t care that they were supposed to be the most comfortable thing _ever_. Jyn had her limits.

            “That stuff scared me,” Cassian said, leaning forward and grabbing a handful of pretzels. “Have you seen those patterns? They're terrifying. Field work scares me less than that. But it made her happy. So did yoga.”

            “No yoga,” Jyn said. “I don’t think I bend that way.”

            “She did.”

            Jyn threw a sofa pillow at him. He blocked it with his arm. “Ew.”

            A quick smile came to his face and vanished. “It wasn’t very good, actually. Any of it. The marriage, the sex, nothing. We were fine when we were dating, and like I said, I fell in love with Nina first. Then we got married, and after only a few months, we realized we were just a terrible match. We kept trying and trying to make it work, and she took me to some…I don’t know, some person who made us meditate on our marriage… I don’t know, but she knew Luke. I suggested real counseling, and we tried that, but…it wasn’t really ever meant to be, and we both knew that. I just hated to break Nina’s heart. She’d already had one dad walk out. I didn’t want to do the same.”

            Jyn frowned. “If things didn’t work out from the beginning, why did Carly let you legally adopt her daughter?”

            “Carly and I were better friends than spouses. Nina’s dad is involved only when he wants to be, and Carly could see how much I loved Nina. She liked that, and she wanted me to stick around for Nina. That wasn’t the issue. Carly and I still get along well. We still talk.”

            That made Jyn’s heart thud, but she ignored it, figuring it was just the booze. “Huh. That’s weird.”

            Cassian shrugged and went for the pretzels again. “It is what it is. Better to have an amicable divorce than hate each other.” He gestured at Jyn. “I feel like half the time, _you_ hate me.”

            “I don’t hate you, Cassian. I just can’t be around you.”

            “Well, that’s even better. Thanks.”

            Jyn’s mind fumbled, trying to make her blunder better. “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean…I’d still have sex with you again,” she said.

            Cassian covered his eyes with his hand. “Jyn, I don’t want to be your fuck buddy.”

            She flushed and took a long drink of water, her mind swimming. “I’m not going to say anything right at this point.”

            “No, please don’t even try.”

            “Yeah, that was bad.”

            “It was all bad.” Cassian dropped his hand and looked at her again. “You have to talk to Mike soon. You can’t put this off.”

            “Fine.” Jyn pulled out her phone and texted Mike: **Need talk u ASPAP. Imptoraant.** “There. Done.”

            “I didn’t mean right now.”

            “Well, can’t take it back.”

            “Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Cassian asked. “With this news?”

            “Would you be? He loves Isobel. He’ll still want to see her.”

            “He walked out.”

            “When he found out I’d cheated,” Jyn said. “I’m sure he put two and two together and realized there was a possibility Isobel wasn’t his.”

            “If he really wanted to be around,” Cassian said, “he would have forgiven you, worked it out, and stayed.”

            “And Isobel still wouldn’t be his,” Jyn said. “Also, cheating is cheating. I slept with another man while trying to get pregnant. That’s pretty terrible.”

            Cassian didn’t say anything, just looked at the clock on the mantle. 4:00.

            “There’s just something about you, Cassian,” Jyn said. “You’ll always be…”

            He looked back at her. His expression was soft, open. Curious but trying to hide it. “I’ll always be what?” he asked quietly.

            Jyn smiled. “You’ll always be the one.”

            He looked down, and he was silent.

            “When we worked together,” she continued, “we’d always find each other. Somehow, no matter what. Always. We were inseparable. I think a lot about when things went wrong, and sometimes I think, if I’d tried a little harder, we could’ve made it work.”

            “I could’ve tried harder, too.”

            “Why did we let each other go?” Jyn asked. “We were in love. We just hit a rough patch.”

            “Six months of a rough patch,” he reminded her. Jyn shrugged.

            “That’s not a long time for married people,” she said. “Married people go through rough patches like that all the time. It’s normal.”

            “We weren’t married.”

            The question came tumbling out before she could stop it. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

            Cassian looked stunned, his lips parted. “I…don’t know.”

            Jyn frowned. “You don’t know?”

            “I guess…I didn’t think you’d want to marry me. Then things got rough, and there was no point. You obviously didn’t want to be with me anymore. You wanted to move on.”

            “I’ve always wanted to be with you,” Jyn said, and she was surprised to hear the defensive tone in her voice. She was contradicting herself all over the place, but she was drunk and this, everything she was saying now, _this_ was real honesty. She opened her hands to the sides of her. “You don’t think I want all of this to work out? For us to be a family? You, me, Isobel, and Nina? In this big house? Of course I do! I fucking want it more than anything!”

            Cassian got up from the armchair and slowly came over to the sofa. He indicated the spot next to her. “Can I sit next to you?” She nodded, tears brimming her eyes again, and he sat. “I do, too, Jyn,” he admitted quietly. “When I ran into you last weekend, it was like my life restarted all over again, just like the first time I met you. Then when I saw you the next day, and talked to you, my heart broke to see how much pain you were in. How miserable you’d become. Then you told me about the timing with Isobel’s conception, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I _knew_ she was mine, and I wanted it so badly. I love Nina, and she _is_ my daughter, but I…” He broke off for a moment. Reached out to her hair. Hesitated and drew his hand back. Quietly admitted another part of his heart: “I always wanted a family with you.”

            Jyn looked over at him, her heart flooding with emotion. “I wish you could have been there,” she said as the tears fell. “For all of it. I’m sorry you weren’t. I’m sorry I fucked all of that up. I’m so sorry, Cassian. I’d do anything to take it back.”

            “I know. I know. I forgive you. You didn’t do it purposely to hurt me. And you said you really didn’t think Isobel was mine.”

            Jyn clenched her hands on the pillow in her lap. “No. But part of me wanted her to be. I’ve had the paternity test a long time. I just didn’t have the courage to find you and talk to you and run it.” She took a drink of water and swallowed, trying to figure her next words out. “How do we do this? How do we try to put this mess back together?”

            “We tell Mike first,” he said, reaching out again and this time putting his hand on her thigh. Jyn didn’t miss his use of the word _we_ for this thing she knew only she could do. As if Mike were somehow aware that he was being talked about, he texted back at that moment.

            _Did you get the results back?_

 **YEs,** Jyn replied. **LMK when ur avilbable.** She put her phone away again.

            “Maybe…maybe we get together with the group again?” Jyn suggested. “And then go from there? Maybe dinner with Luke and Mara and talk with them? And Han and Leia?”

            “Sure.” He gently squeezed her thigh. “You’ll have to figure out how much you want from me, too. I’ll be involved as little or as much as you’d like. Obviously my preference is to be in her life as much as I can. As much as you’ll let me.”

            _You could move in!_ Jyn thought through the haze of alcohol. _Carly can let you raise Nina, and she can live here, too!_ She let out a breath and closed her eyes. _That’s the alcohol and loneliness talking, Erso. You guys are not getting back together, and neither of you even wants to. You know it, and he knows it._

            Cassian’s arm came around her shoulders. She stiffened.

            “Is this okay?” he asked. She just nodded, and he pulled her close. She turned her face into him, inhaling deeply. She grabbed onto his shirt, her right hand sliding up and over his shoulder, and she exhaled. His head came down to rest on hers. “My lease isn’t coming up for another eight months, but I’ve got some money saved and I can break it. I can find somewhere closer to live rather than ten minutes away.”

            Jyn shook her head. “No,” she said. “You’re fine where you are. That’s still close.” She lifted her head from his chest and looked into his face. “Do you want to spend some time with Isobel tonight? Get to know her a little?”

            A cautious expression came to Cassian’s face. “I don’t know. How is she going to take that? Will it confuse her?”

            “She’ll be fine. She met you already at Starbucks. You’re just my friend.”

            “Sure. I’d…yeah, I’d like that.”

            They’d both sobered up by the time Jyn needed to leave to pick up Isobel. Chirrut again told Jyn what a fun time she’d had with their foster daughter, and Jyn smiled back, not trusting whatever response might form in her mouth. As usual, Isobel babbled on the whole way back home.

            “I’ve got a surprise for you,” Jyn said as she unbuckled the little girl from her car seat. “One of Mommy’s friends is here.”

            “Who is it?” Isobel asked, getting out of the car.

            “We met him at Starbucks last weekend. Do you remember?”

            “Nina?”

            “Nina’s daddy.”

            Jyn opened the door from the garage into her house. Cassian was sitting in the armchair again, absently flipping through a magazine. When he saw they’d come home, he stood up.

            “Hi,” Isobel said, slowly walking over to him.

            Jyn crouched down next to her daughter. “This is Mommy’s friend Cassian.”

            “You were rude to him,” Isobel said, as if Jyn could forget her daughter’s public reprimand.

            “Yes, I know. You need to introduce yourself.”

            “I’m Isobel,” she said to him.

            “It’s nice to meet you,” Cassian replied. There was a funny note in his voice. Jyn watched as he stared at the little girl, and she at him. Now that they were near each other, and Jyn had the chance to look, their resemblance was striking. Isobel looked like a perfect combination of both of her parents. Jyn swallowed, her throat suddenly thick.

            “Where’s Nina?” Isobel asked.

            “She’s with her mommy right now,” Cassian said. “But…maybe you can see her another time.”

            “Why are you here?”

            Jyn didn’t correct the rude behavior. Her attention was riveted on Cassian. She watched him swallow back the words he must desperately want to say.

            “I wanted to get to know you,” he said, and Jyn felt her heart ache with regret and self-hatred and pain. “Can I do that?”

            Isobel shrugged. “Okay. Mommy.” She turned to Jyn for help getting out of her backpack. Then she walked up to Cassian. “Uncle Chirrut has a new kitten. Uncle Baze doesn’t like it.”

            “Oh, really?”

            “Yeah.” Isobel led the way further into the house toward her playroom. Her voice floated back down the hall. “I want a kitten.”

            “Maybe we can get you one sometime.”

            Jyn flinched as she went into the kitchen to start making dinner. Years of training for his job, a job that required delicate work and protecting delicate information, and within a minute of meeting his daughter, he’d already slipped up.

            Jyn couldn’t blame him.

            “Okay,” Isobel said. “You can buy me a kitten. But only from a shelter. I _only_ like rescue pets.”

            “Me, too.”

            Jyn kept her ears tuned to their voices as she made spaghetti. Isobel was pretty easygoing anyway, and it sounded like she’d taken to Cassian well. Jyn smiled as she stirred the sauce. There hadn’t been laughter like this in her house for a long time. When the food was ready, she called out to them.

            “Hey, guys. Dinner.”

            “I already ate,” Isobel called back.

            “I know, but Cassian and I need to eat.”

            “I’m not done playing.”

            “That’s fine,” Jyn said as she walked down the hallway. “But _we_ have to eat.”

            Jyn stopped in the doorway of the playroom and took the scene in. Her daughter – her and _Cassian’s_ daughter, she corrected herself – had taken out a bunch of her toys and strewn them around. Cassian was propped on his side, smiling at Isobel as she explained her castle to him and the necessity of having a dragon.

            “Cassian,” Jyn said. He looked up, as if just now noticing her presence. He was usually more observant than that, never missing a thing. Jyn tipped her head back toward the kitchen. “Dinner.”

            Isobel stayed in the playroom while they sat down at the dining room table to eat. “It’s not much,” Jyn confessed. “I don’t cook a lot, with my schedule.”

            “It’s fine,” Cassian said. “I wasn’t expecting dinner.”

            “Well, help yourself. It’s just us, obviously, so have as much as you want.”

            They ate in silence for a bit, listening to Isobel talk and sing to herself in the playroom. After a while, Cassian said, “This is nice. It’s nice.”

            “Yeah,” Jyn said with a smile. “It’s nice to have someone to do something for again.”

            He smiled back, and they finished their dinner. Cassian helped her clean up, despite her waving him off, and then she walked him to the door and stepped outside after calling to Isobel that she’d be right back.

            “I’ll let you know how things go with Mike,” she said, gripping her elbows tight.

            “Okay,” Cassian said. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

            “What?”

            “Nothing. Just… Last weekend…you said you were covered, right? Some sort of protection?”

            Jyn smiled. “Yes, Cassian. We’re fine. Trust me, I’m not trying to get pregnant again.” He still looked like he wanted to say something. “What is it?”

            He still hesitated another moment. Then he said, “I bet you were beautiful.”

            Jyn felt a blush come to her face. “I really didn’t feel beautiful.”

            “Did everything go okay?” he asked. “Were you sick at all, or anything else?”

            “No,” she said. “It was all really smooth.” She watched his face flicker through any number of emotions, his eyes down on the stoop.

            “That’s good,” he said. “I’m glad.” He looked back up, and his face was impassive again. “I should go.”

            “Yeah. We have…um…well, nothing this coming weekend, actually, but I have to talk to Mike at some point, so…I don’t really know how that’s going to work out, but…I imagine Bodhi or Baze and Chirrut will wind up babysitting again.”

            “I’m glad you’ve had them,” Cassian said. “I haven’t gotten to see them much, with us not speaking.”

            “Makes me miss Kay.”

            “I’ll be sure to tell him that.”

            “Yeah, I’ll be waiting on pins and needles for his response.”

            “You had a good idea,” Cassian said, “about getting together with them again. I’ll have to check my calendar to see when I’m free and don’t have Nina. What are your weekends usually like?”

            Jyn shrugged. “Pretty much the same. We go to the park, the library, hang out with the uncles, have some playdates, stuff like that. Nothing really planned. At least not often. I’d really like to have dinner with Luke and Mara sometime, but Mara can’t be trusted around small children.”

            “Yeah, that one has a mouth on her,” Cassian agreed.

            “That is putting it mildly.”

            They stood in the stillness of the evening, staring at one another, unspeaking. Out of words to say at the moment.

            “I should go,” Cassian said again.

            “Yeah,” Jyn replied, breaking eye contact and looking down. She scuffed the toe of her shoe on the stoop. Looking at him was too intense. Seeing him again, feeling him near her, the things she felt around him, and her acute loneliness… Better that she look away.

            “Well, I’ll see you later, then,” he said. “Take care of yourself, Jyn.”

            “You, too.” She kicked at a loose patch on her stoop, driving the toe of her shoe in over and over.

            Cassian didn’t leave for a moment, and Jyn could sense him watching her. But then, he did walk away and get in his car.

            Jyn dug her nails into the fabric of her sleeves and kicked a small bit of concrete loose as he drove away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn gives Mike the bad news. Isobel and Nina have a playdate at the park, while Jyn and Cassian have another difficult conversation. Isobel makes a request that Jyn doesn’t know how to reply to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again, so much, to all of you, my dear readers and commenters. :) This story is still going because of YOU!!! <3 You have all been so invested in this and so dedicated, and it makes my heart just leap for the stars when I see a comment from one of you come into my inbox. (I know I am sooo terribly behind with responding to them, but I do read them right away, multiple times, and truly appreciate them more than you could ever know! I will respond as soon as I can!!) Thank you, lovelies!! <3

Once again, Jyn found herself on the couch, staring across the coffee table at the armchair that Cassian had been sitting in only hours ago. Mike sat in it now, visibly apprehensive, rubbing his hands together slowly, nervously.

            “Please just tell me,” he said. “I just want to know. Please tell me she’s mine.”

            Jyn began to shake her head. “I’m sorry, Mike. She’s…” She stopped talking when Mike’s head dropped to his chest. His shoulders shook. “I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

            “But you did, Jyn. You have no idea how much.” When he looked up, Jyn saw tears shining in his eyes. “I’ve been her father for four years. I’ve helped raise her. I know I walked out, and I’m sorrier than ever now that I did. I could’ve had all that time with her. She _is_ my daughter. Am I still going to get to see her? Are you going back to him?”

            “I don’t know what’s happening yet,” Jyn said. “I just found out. I haven’t worked anything out yet. Whether or not I’m ‘going back to him’ is none of your business.”

            “Does he know?”

            “Yes, he knows. I told him this afternoon.”

            Mike looked down and nodded over and over again. “So…just like that. He just gets to come in and replace me. Be Isobel’s dad now.”

            “Mike,” Jyn said sternly, “you walked out. You didn’t want to be here. You wanted to only be Isobel’s dad part-time. You introduced her to your new girlfriends – you think that didn’t feel like _me_ being replaced? This all sends the signal that _you_ were very interested in a new family of your own.”

            “I found out you cheated, Jyn!” he shouted suddenly. “You cheated on me, and then it turns out he got you _pregnant_? And this whole time, _this whole time_ , we thought our child was ours. And it turns out she’s his. She’s his! What does that make me now? Not a father?” He slumped back in the chair in disbelief, his hands slapping his thighs as they fell. “I’m not a father anymore. Just like that.” He shook his head and stood up.

            “You’ve been Isobel’s father for the past four years,” Jyn said, watching him walk out of the living room and toward the door. “Mike…”

            “I’ve gotta go,” he said. “I’ve gotta…I don’t fucking know…figure this out or…get some fucking counseling…or I don’t even know what. But I do not want to be around you right now.”

            Jyn stood and walked after him. “I don’t blame you for being mad, but you cannot – ”

            He held his hand up. “Yeah, I don’t need your sympathy, thanks.” He opened the door.

            “Mike – ”

            _Slam._

            He was gone.

            Jyn went into the kitchen and put a hot pot on for tea. She’d make herself a cup and get some work done. It was only 9:00, and Isobel had been in bed for an hour. She picked up her phone and texted Cassian.

**I told Mike. He was upset and angry.**

            His reply came right away. _I guess it went as well as could be expected._

**Yeah.**

            She stared at the text box, but Cassian didn’t reply. There wasn’t, she reflected, very much he could say.

* * *

Jyn had a text from Mike waiting for her in the morning, timestamped 2:32 a.m. _I’m sorry. I wish I could have reacted better and kept myself together. It was just really terrible news. But I want to put all that behind us. I still want to be in Isobel’s life…if that’s okay with you. If not, I understand. I know I haven’t been the greatest dad, but I really did try hard. Maybe I’ll do better next time._

Jyn released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding since she’d gotten the email with the test results. It was good news. Things were at least going in the right direction.

            Isobel was already up, watching cartoons in the living room when Jyn walked in. “Morning, sweetie,” Jyn said. Isobel gave her a sunny smile.

            “Hi, Mommy.”

            “Did you have breakfast already?”

            “Yeah.”

            Jyn saw the telltale wrapper of a cereal bar on the coffee table in front of her. She kept breakfast items out and the TV tuned to PBS so that Isobel could easily get something to eat and watch TV if she got up before Jyn (which was almost always).

            “Are you still hungry?” Jyn asked. Isobel shook her head, her mind already back on the show.

            Jyn fixed herself a bowl of cereal and went over to the couch to join her.

            “Isobel,” she said gently, “can I talk to you?”

            The girl’s expression immediately fell. “What did I do?”

            “Nothing, nothing.” Jyn reached out and brushed Isobel’s hair back. “I wanted to know if you had fun last night. With my…with my friend.”

            “Yeah. He was really nice.”

            Jyn smiled. “Good.”

            “Can I watch my show now?”

            “Sure.” She gave Isobel’s leg a pat and went back to the kitchen.

            **Do you have Nina today?** she texted Cassian.

            _I do,_ came his reply minutes later. _Why?_

            **We’re going to go to the park here in a little bit. I can’t remember the name of it, but you’re welcome to join us.**

            It was almost twenty minutes later, when Jyn was buried in work email, that he replied.

            _Sure, we can do that. We’ll be there by 10._

 

Isobel was delighted to hear they were going to the park, and dressed quickly. Jyn sat at her vanity after changing into a comfortable top and breezy, flowing skirt, looking over her array of cosmetics. Urban Decay, Too Faced, Tarte… When had these names become as commonplace to her as her favorite brand of work boots and field gear? She shook her head and applied only a few products before getting up.

            “Iz?” she called. “You ready?”

            “Yeah,” Isobel called back. “I want to bring juice.”

            “You can have water,” Jyn said as she came down the stairs. Isobel waited in front of the refrigerator.

            “I want _juice_ ,” she insisted.

            _“Water,”_ Jyn insisted right back.

            Isobel turned and marched away, going to stand in front of the door to the garage and pout at it like she’d been sent to time-out. Jyn filled up bottles of water for both of them, grabbed sunscreen, and they left.

            The park was only a few minutes’ drive away, and it usually wasn’t very crowded. Jyn parked, got Isobel out, and slathered on the sunscreen. Isobel dutifully stood still.

            “All right, you’re good,” Jyn said, flipping the top closed with a click. “Ready to play?”

            “Yeah. Inside didn’t suit me today.”

            It was one of those bizarre things that came out of the mouths of children and sounded utterly hilarious in their little voices. Jyn laughed and wondered where she’d heard this one (Uncle Baze, most likely). She sat on a bench while Isobel clambered up the steps to the slide and slid down, over and over. Her smartwatch buzzed, and seeing that it was an email she’d been waiting three weeks for, she pulled out her phone, keeping one eye on Isobel.

            Three emails later, a voice behind her said, “Get off that thing.” Jyn jumped and looked up. Cassian stood there with Nina, who was wearing another darling dress and holding his hand. She looked wary of Jyn.

            “Hi,” Jyn said to her, glancing to be sure Isobel was safe before turning her attention on Nina. “I’m Jyn.”

            Nina shuffled back behind Cassian’s legs, still holding onto his hand.

            “She’s shy,” he explained.

            “I’m not shy,” she said.

            “You don’t have to come out,” Jyn said. “Big people are scary. I know. I don’t like them, either. I stay away if I can.”

            Nina stepped back around him and pulled on his hand, her face turned up to his. “I want to go home, Daddy.”

            “We just got here,” he said.

            “I don’t like it here.”

            “Because you’ve never been here before.” Jyn watched as he crouched down in front of her and spoke softly to her in Spanish, and of course he did, of course he’d taught her, and Jyn looked up at Isobel, her feisty little girl, who he would’ve taught as well if she’d just given him the chance. She bit down on her tongue, dug her fingernails into her legs, as she watched Cassian take Nina over to Isobel and talk to both of them. Nina seemed reassured, and Isobel got along with pretty much everybody (regardless of whether they wanted to get along with her or not), and was soon flying away to the next thing. Nina ran after her, and it seemed she’d overcome her shyness for now.

            “She doesn’t really like meeting new people,” Cassian said as he sat down on the bench next to Jyn. She noticed he’d left a really obvious amount of space between them, as if he were afraid even his aura would touch her.

            “You’re really good with her,” Jyn said. “Really…natural.” He shrugged, waved it off like it was nothing. “No, you are. Parenting doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people. I don’t think it comes all that naturally to me. But you’re…good at it.”

            “I think you’re better at it than you think,” he said. “Isobel is…something. She certainly takes after you.”

            Jyn crossed her arms as she watched the little girls. “Better me than Mike.”

            “Yeah.” A pause. “Have you heard from him again?”

            “I did. He’s mad. He’s hurt. He wants to stay in Isobel’s life.”

            “Mm.”

            At that noncommittal reply, Jyn looked over at him. His eyes were still on the girls, giggling together in the middle of the playground.

            “I guess that’s something you and I should discuss,” Jyn said slowly, watching him carefully. He just lifted his eyebrows briefly, and still didn’t say anything. “Cassian…don’t make this harder than it already is.”

            He turned to her, his mood switching in an instant. “He got to be there for everything from the beginning,” he spat. “Why does he get to be there for more?”

            This time, Jyn didn’t reply, and took a drink from her water bottle as she turned her attention back to the girls.

            “It’s not fair, Jyn,” Cassian said. “You can’t have it both ways.”

            “I’m trying to prevent more hurt.”

            “I think it’s a little too late for that.”

            “You know, I’m suffering here, too,” Jyn said. “I’m not the only one responsible here, and I _didn’t_ know you were Isobel’s dad. I really didn’t, Cassian. It was at the back of my mind as a remote possibility, but…” She blew out a breath. “I’m just usually more careful than that. Smarter. I don’t screw up like that. It happens to other people, but…not to me. It didn’t seem possible. So it wasn’t.”

            “Then why did it happen?” She looked over at him again. His narrowed eyes were on hers. “Why did you cheat on Mike with me?”

            “I don’t…I don’t know,” she said quietly, feeling her strength start to crumple.

            “You don’t _know_?”

            “I can’t give you an answer. It just…happened. People run into their exes and things happen. It happens all the time.”

            Cassian gave her a dubious look. “But you were with another man. Seriously involved with him, according to you. Fine if you got pregnant, because you wanted a family with him. You knew you _could_ get pregnant if you had unprotected sex.”

            Jyn glared and clenched her fists. “Don’t you put this all on me. You were just as into it as I was. _You_ also didn’t grab a condom. _You_ also knew I was with Mike. We _both_ messed this up.”

            Cassian just shook his head and looked away from her again. Jyn let the uncomfortable silence fill the space between them for a while.

            “So is this how it’s going to be?” she asked. “You and me fighting again? All the time? Only now it’s forever because we have a kid?”

            “That’s not what I want,” he said. “I’ve never wanted to fight with you.”

            “Well, that makes two of us.”

            Isobel tripped over a piece of playground equipment and fell on her hands and knees, crying out for her mommy. Jyn went over and brushed her off, assured her she was okay, and she was up and going again. When Jyn returned to the bench, she said,

            “It happened because it’s you. I couldn’t let go.”

            “I don’t think either of us can,” Cassian said. He was looking at her again. “Jyn…I missed you a lot over the last five years. When you broke things off with me completely, it was…hard. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t still think of you.”

            “You still got married,” Jyn said. “You found someone. You fell in love again.”

            “I don’t think I _really_ loved her,” he said. “I only thought I did because I wanted to. I _needed_ to. I messed that up pretty badly, too. She already had one man walk out on her, and then I was a disappointment, too.”

            Jyn gestured at Nina out on the playground. “But she let you adopt Nina.”

            “Carly may not be into being a parent, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want what’s best for Nina.”

            Isobel rushed over with Nina and dramatically collapsed on Jyn’s knees. “Mommy,” she gasped. “Thirsty.” Jyn handed her the water bottle. Isobel took a long drink, eyeing Cassian the whole time. “Hi,” she said when she put the bottle down.

            “Hi, Isobel,” he said, and Jyn couldn’t deny how beautiful her name sounded when he spoke it. “It’s good to see you again.”

            Isobel turned back to Jyn. “Nina and I want to have a sleepover,” she said. Jyn looked up at Cassian.

            “Uh,” she said. “I don’t know about that. We’d have to talk about it.”

            “When do I see Daddy again?”

            Jyn’s eyes were still on Cassian, and she saw him visibly flinch at the girl’s words. “Um…” She forced a smile onto her face and looked down at her daughter. “Let’s talk about that at home. Okay?”

            “Okay…” Her eyes were on Jyn like she couldn’t quite understand, and Jyn’s heart broke into a million pieces.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian go out to dinner to talk things out. Bodhi doesn’t ask questions, but he is so tired of their drama. Jyn asks Cassian an unexpected question.

The group walked back to the parking lot twenty minutes later. Jyn had buckled Isobel into her car seat, and she was waving goodbye to Nina, when Cassian abruptly said,

            “We should do it.” Jyn brought her head up sharply. “The sleepover. Then we can get someone to babysit for a little bit, and you and I can get something to eat and talk things out.”

            Jyn got the feeling like they’d never be done “talking things out.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” she said. “Next weekend? Depending on – ” She immediately cut herself off, but Cassian still jumped on it.

            “Depending on what?” he said. “If Mike can see her? You said this was supposed to be his weekend, and where is he? Why is Isobel with you?”

            “We swapped,” Jyn said through gritted teeth. “Please don’t do this in front of them.”

            Cassian visibly brought himself under control. “Next weekend’s fine. Nice seeing you guys again.”

            As they walked off, and Jyn watched them in her rearview mirror, she had to disagree. It hadn’t been pleasant at _all_.

 

Mike wasn’t happy when Jyn said she was keeping Isobel home the next weekend instead of letting him see her. She explained what was going on, and it was clear through Mike’s texts that he was heartbroken, but Jyn steeled her heart against his words. She could only take so much heartache of her own without borrowing others’.

            As Jyn sat at her vanity getting ready for dinner, she remembered something she’d hidden long ago in the bottom drawer of her dresser. She went over, pulled the drawer out, and dug around. There, at the bottom, was the bottle of perfume Cassian had bought her years ago. She put the sprayer up to her nose and inhaled, and her mind conjured up a hundred different memories. Hot nights, sticky humidity, staying out with him till three a.m., making love to him, waking up next to him. Jyn clutched the bottle between her hands and kept her eyes closed as the memories sifted back into the recesses of her mind.

            Then she turned her left wrist up, and she sprayed it again, for the first time in five years.

 

Bodhi didn’t even bat an eye when he walked into the house and saw Cassian.

            “Not my business,” Bodhi said with one hand held up (the other contained Raymond). “I don’t want to know.” He dropped onto the sofa.

            “I’ll explain everything later,” Jyn said as she gave him her customary kiss on the top of his head. “We’re trying to figure things out.”

            “Right. Just don’t come back in the morning a sobbing mess.” He shot Cassian as dirty a look as he could manage, which wasn’t saying much, but still counted for something. “Dunno what you did, mate, but let’s keep things pleasant, all right?”

            “Don’t get in the middle of this, Bodhi,” Cassian said. “It’ll eat you up and spit you out.”

            “Ungh,” he said, slouching down on the couch and clutching Raymond. “This is why I date online.”

            “Yeah. How long have you been talking to that one girl? Reina?”

            “Six months.”

            “Are you ever going to see her?”

            “No.”

            “Have you talked on the phone?”

            “No.”

            “Bodhi – ”

            Bodhi straightened from the couch and waved his hand at them. “Don’t you two put your drama on me. I’m happier than you two combined. You’re miserable. Plain miserable. Sort your shit out!”

            He turned back around and held Raymond up above his head.

            “Thanks again, Bodhi,” Jyn called. He gently shook Raymond from side to side, apparently refusing to speak to them further. “Let’s go,” she muttered to Cassian.

            As usual, he was a gentleman, and opened her door despite her grumbling. Jyn buckled herself in and wished she’d worn a different pair of heels. These were already chafing.

            Cassian got in and started the car, putting his own belt on. Just like her, he still drove a stick shift, and she wasn’t surprised at all.

            “You look nice,” he said when they were out of her neighborhood.

            “This isn’t a date,” Jyn said. “You don’t have to compliment me.”

            “Don’t have to, and yet I am.”

            “Fine.”

            She watched as he frowned. “Are you wearing perfume?”

            Her heart picked up speed. She could feel it hammering in her chest. “I am,” she said. He was clearly trying to place the scent. “You got it for me,” she added quietly.

            He nodded in acknowledgment, but didn’t speak another word until they were at the restaurant. Jyn had expected he’d choose someplace nice, and his choice didn’t disappoint. The lights were low, lit tealights floating in water at each table, and it had a very romantic ambiance. Jyn shot Cassian a look as they followed the waiter. His hand was on the small of her back again, lightly guiding her even though they were just following.

            “When was the last time you had a nice dinner?” he said in response to her nasty look. “Just let me do something nice for you.”

            They each updated the other, waiting until their meals came before getting into the reason for the dinner.

            “I’ll be plain with you, Jyn,” he said, picking up his silverware. “I’ve thought about this a lot – all week – and I really don’t want Mike involved.”

            Jyn took a deep breath and set her hands on her lap. She’d known he would say that. “And Isobel?” she said. “What do you think that’s going to do to her? All her life she’s only known Mike as ‘Daddy,’ and now suddenly you’re here, and she has no clue why. It’s going to traumatize her to learn her daddy is not really her daddy, and some other guy she’s just met, is. She really likes him.” She paused. “She loves him.”

            “I think it’s important that she get support,” Cassian said. “We’ll get her a counselor to help her. I think she should have a transition period, where I’m involved and Mike’s involved, but after that…” He shook his head, his face set in firm lines. “I don’t want him around. It’s going to confuse her even worse if he is.”

            Jyn didn’t reply, absorbing what he’d said.

            “You disagree?” he said.

            “I’m thinking,” Jyn said. “Processing. I just want what’s best for Isobel.”

            “So do I. He doesn’t deserve her.”

            “You didn’t even know you were her father two weeks ago. Let’s calm down here, please.” She stared at the tabletop, twisting the cloth napkin in her hands. Thinking. Churning. Processing. Worrying.

            “Eat your food, Jyn,” Cassian said gently. “Don’t make yourself sick over this. That little girl needs you more than anything else.”

            Jyn began mechanically eating her filet, not even really enjoying it. She wished there were an easy answer. There wasn’t, of course. There wasn’t even a _good_ answer, or even a good substitute for one. All of it just sucked. All of it was terrible, and there would be plenty of pain to go around. But if she could spare her daughter one second of it, she would do anything in her power to.

            “I think I know how I’ll tell her,” Jyn said. “This has been on my mind all week, too, obviously, and I figured you’d say you didn’t want Mike around. I’ll tell her Daddy Mike is just a friend of Mommy’s while I looked for her real daddy. I know she doesn’t understand why Mike doesn’t live with us, and that it hurts her. As much as she likes the girlfriends of his that she gets to meet – because of course they’re all trying to win him over and they’re extra nice to her – they confuse her. She doesn’t understand. Plus, if I tell her Nina’s her sister, she’ll really like that.”

            “Maybe it’ll work,” Cassian said.

            “Yeah,” Jyn said glumly. “Maybe.”

 

They were able to turn the conversation to other things, and Jyn was able to relax a little and actually enjoy being in Cassian’s presence again. When it was time to leave the restaurant, she found herself a little reluctant.

            “There’s a path here,” he said, pointing. “Some big garden they have back here.”

            It seemed he felt the same way, and was also reluctant for the night to end. They set off on the path, walking slowly, and as he related one of his recent stories of an assignment with Kay, Jyn was able to laugh with him again. It became easy again, between them, like it hadn’t been in so, so long. Since before the merger. Her laughter faded away as they walked to the middle of a small bridge over a water feature and stared down.

            “How do people get like this?” Jyn asked as she watched their reflection in the smooth water, stars sprinkled behind their bodies. “So sideways?”

            “We are all deeply flawed,” Cassian said. “Some of us more so than others.”

            Their hands gripped the railing next to one another. Cassian lifted the one closest to hers and brushed his knuckle down the back of her hand.

            “We should get back,” he said quietly. “I’m sure Bodhi wants to go home. I’ll get Nina whenever you want me to tomorrow.”

            “Stay,” Jyn blurted, turning to him so abruptly she nearly knocked into him. “I have a guest room with guest soaps and toiletries and all this dumb fancy stuff, and it’s only ever been used by my parents. It rarely gets used.”

            He brushed his hand back over his hair. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

            “You’d be here in the morning when Nina woke up…and Isobel too…and she’d see what it’s like to have a dad in the house again.”

            “I don’t have anything to sleep in. And I’m not spending my Sunday morning lounging in my best pair of jeans.”

            A smile came to Jyn’s face. “You wore your best pair of jeans for me?”

            He looked like he’d been caught stealing. “…shit.”

            Jyn took his hand without even thinking. “We’ll go to the store. We’ll get you pajama pants.” She squeezed. “Please.”

            Cassian slipped his fingers through hers. The moonlight caught the earnest expression on his face. His voice came out funny to Jyn, an odd note to it. “You say that like I wasn’t already going to say yes.”

 

The trip to the store only took them an extra twenty minutes, and then they were back at Jyn’s house. Bodhi gave them both stern looks, marched between them, and left, leaving them staring after him.

            “I’ll show you to the guest room,” Jyn said, and led the way upstairs. The girls had already been asleep before Bodhi had shown up, and it wasn’t too late, but she was more than ready to go to sleep. She left Cassian to get ready for bed and did the same herself in her own room before going back to the guest room again and knocking on the door. He called for her to enter, and she had to take a steadying breath when she saw him shirtless again, standing right next to the door and folding his clothes on the dresser next to it. Before, a few weeks ago, they hadn’t taken the time to reacquaint themselves with each other’s bodies. But now, in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand, Jyn could remember what she had been missing all these years.

            “Just wanted to see if you needed anything else,” she said, unable to keep herself from staring.

            “I think I found everything,” Cassian said. “Thanks.”

            “Yeah. Thanks for dinner. And for staying.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            As Jyn looked at him, she got the feeling he was looking at her, too. All she was wearing was a spaghetti-strap top and thin sleeping shorts, but they still fit well.

            She hoped he still liked what he saw.

            Cassian stepped up to her and ran the backs of his fingers down her arm. A shiver raced over her entire body. She shook her hair back and looked up into his face.

            “Thanks for a nice night,” he said. “We’ll figure all this stuff out. It’s just going to take time.”

            “Right,” Jyn said. “Time.”

            She wanted him to kiss her. She was _dying_ for him to kiss her.

            He dropped his hand back to his side. “Goodnight, Jyn.”

            Jyn felt disappointment drop through her so sharply, she blinked. “Night.”

            She stood, transfixed, as he walked over to the side of the bed he’d turned down, got in, and switched off the light.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn can’t sleep. Neither can Cassian. An unexpected visitor drops by in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting close to the end of part 2, folks. One more chapter after this.

Jyn lay awake, tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position in her big, luxurious bed. She picked up her phone at least three times, even once opened her text conversation with Cassian, but always put it back down.

            Around midnight, she picked the device up a fourth time, and finally sent him a short, simple message: **Can’t sleep.**

            Jyn put the phone down on her nightstand again and turned onto her other side, her back to it, and closed her eyes. Ignored her racing heart that beat in anticipation and nervousness.

            The message alert went off, and she had her notifications set to Priority Contacts Only.

            Jyn flipped over and grabbed the phone.

            _I can’t, either. Want company?_

            She quickly typed out her reply. **I wouldn’t mind it.**

            Jyn put her phone down and took a deep breath, moving over to the center of the bed so he’d have room to get in. It felt like the old days again, the excitement, the anticipation, and she eagerly awaited feeling him against her once more. She didn’t plan on it progressing further, and she knew Cassian well enough to know he didn’t, either. That wasn’t where either of them were headed.

            There was nothing wrong with sharing a bed when two people couldn’t sleep. They might as well keep each other company.

            Jyn heard quiet footsteps coming down the hall, and then within only a few breaths, he was lifting the covers and sliding in behind her. His hand immediately went to her hip, his warm breath sighed out on her neck. Jyn instinctively relaxed back against him, and his fingers tightened, causing her top to ride up.

            “Your bed is a lot more comfortable than that other one,” Cassian said.

            “I know,” Jyn said. “I paid a lot of money for it.” He didn’t respond, and she tilted her head back against his. “The other one isn’t half-bad, you know. Once you get drowsy, you can go back to it and see just how comfy it is.”

            “Right. Sure.”

            Jyn pillowed her hands under her cheek and closed her eyes. “I’m glad we’re friends again.”

            “Me, too.”

            The minutes passed, and Jyn focused on the fan in her room, attempting to use the white noise to block out her thoughts. She could think of nothing else except Cassian: his body against hers, his warmth, her memories of making love to him, the very fact that he was _in her bed with her_ , what a future with him might be like. His hand was still on her side, but he’d moved it up a little so that it rested on bare skin underneath her top. It was relaxed, and his breathing was even. Had he really fallen asleep?

            Jyn opened her eyes. “Cassian,” she whispered. No response. She called his name a little louder. “Cassian. Are you asleep?”

            “No,” he replied, and he didn’t even sound tired.

            Jyn sighed. “Me, neither.”

            “I wonder why.” He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, and Jyn shivered. He moved to another spot, and her heart hit her ribcage so hard, her whole body shook. All she could hear now were his lips kissing her skin. He moved closer to her, and she pressed back against him before she could stop herself.

            His kisses went up her neck, and her fingers laced through his and pulled his hand around to her belly. He moved closer to her and ground against her, and, _fuck_ , he was hard and she was wet and _this was not supposed to happen_.

            Jyn wanted to say something, anything, to stop what was going on. Other than the difficult conversation at dinner, the night had gone so well. She couldn’t think of a better end than fooling around with him in her huge bed. But she needed to stop. They were not involved, they were not together, and he was staying the night only for Nina. What they had was over, they both knew that, and what they had going forward was simply a mutual arrangement for the benefit of the children.

            But she didn’t stop. It was like she _couldn’t_.

            Jyn ground back against him again, and she was very familiar with the noise he made. He mouthed harder at her neck and squeezed her hand as he pushed against her again and she met him with her hips, and then she turned her head to whisper,

            “Do you need to get off?”

            He shook his head, his lips still on her neck. “No.”

            “Really?”

            “Kind of.”

            Jyn flipped over and plunged her hand down into the brand new pajama pants they’d just bought him, and she pulled him out roughly enough that he said, “Gentle, gentle! It’s not going to take much.”

            She knew that. Leaning her forehead against his, she moved her hand quickly up and down him. She knew him well enough to know what he wanted. What he needed. He hadn’t come to her bed expecting anything, but the situation had quickly become too much for him, and he needed to get off fast. His eyes were closed, his head bent down slightly, and Jyn rested her other hand against his cheek and ran her thumb across his lips. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but she knew that was forbidden territory. Giving him a hand job felt a lot safer than kissing him. That was too close. Too intimate.

            Too…something.

            This was impersonal. He had a need, and she was filling it.

            “God, I forgot how good your hand feels,” Cassian said, his breath warm on her chest.

            Jyn pulled harder at him, and his hands came up to clutch at her shoulders. His nose bumped hers, and she could tell by his breathing that he was close already.

            Cassian let out a long breath, and Jyn cradled his head as his fingers curled and dug into her shoulders, as hot liquid filled her hand, as she softened her touch to finish him off and bring him down gently. He was breathing hard when they parted again.

            “That was unexpected,” he said, looking into her eyes. Jyn smiled at him.

            “You’re welcome,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

            She left the bed to wash up, and when she came back she brought him a wet washcloth. She got back into bed as he cleaned himself up.

            “You can just toss that on the ground,” she said about the washcloth, and he did. Jyn tossed her hair back from her face and settled down with her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest.

            “You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Cassian said.

            “You didn’t have to get a massive hard-on in my bed, you know.”

            Cassian laughed shortly. “I couldn’t help it.”

            Jyn wondered if he was going to return the favor, but he seemed reluctant to touch her. After she’d jumped him in his apartment, they’d both been extra careful around each other – he especially so. This was the first slip-up, and worry niggled at Jyn’s mind.

            _This can’t go further,_ she thought. _This can’t go ANY further._

Cassian drifted off, but Jyn lay wide awake still. Worse than before. She shifted away from him, having gotten uncomfortable in that position, and put distance between them in the bed. She let out a loud breath, knowing she wasn’t going to sleep much tonight.

            _Would it be the worst thing,_ came another thought, _if things_ did _go further?_

Jyn rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. No. Maybe not. But if things blew up again between them? They had a kid now. A kid who was going to have to be told her daddy wasn’t really her daddy and some guy she’d just met was, and Cassian had an adopted daughter himself who’d already had a dad walk out and now had to deal with another divorce. No, if Jyn and Cassian fucked this up, they would damage those little girls irreparably. _They_ were the real victims here. They were completely innocent. It wasn’t their fault they were surrounded by adults who made poor choices and couldn’t keep their pants zipped. They didn’t deserve this.

            Jyn turned back onto her side to again face Cassian. In sleep he was completely relaxed, and for a few moments, she just watched his chest rise and fall, took in the peaceful expression on his face and his closed eyes. It was hard to believe so much had happened between them, and that it was _still_ happening. What she’d told him was absolutely true: he was the one, he always would be, and she couldn’t let him go. She never would be able to. She was in love with him years ago, she was still in love with him now, and she always would be.

            Under the covers, Jyn took his hand and squeezed it. “I love you, Cassian,” she whispered. “I always will.”

            Then she rested her head on his pillow right next to his head, and she closed her eyes once more.

 

In the morning, Jyn gave Cassian one of her old Alliance Corp T-shirts that she used to wear back when she worked out. The girls were already up and playing, and when Nina saw Cassian, she jumped up.

            “Daddy!” she squealed, leaping into his arms. He wrapped her up in a huge hug, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him and held tight. When she pulled back, though, she frowned. “Does this mean we have to go already? We just got up.”

            “No, no,” Cassian said. “I stayed overnight, too. We’re all going to have breakfast together.”

            “I don’t have much,” Jyn said, leaning against the doorway of the playroom and crossing her arms. “We have cereal – ” Both girls groaned. “Okay, no cereal.”

            “Pancakes?” Cassian suggested. “Surely you have the ingredients for pancakes.”

            “Yeah, I have a box mix.”

            Cassian winced.

            “Well, not all of us can be as good a cook as you,” Jyn said with narrowed eyes. “You don’t like it, you cook.”

            “That’s what I was hinting at,” Cassian replied as he set Nina back down. “Just…stay out of the kitchen. You’re just going to mess things up.” He began to walk down the hallway toward the front of the house.

            “I appreciate the support,” Jyn called after him.

            “Where are your…you don’t even have…and the…Jyn, this kitchen is a _mess_!”

            Jyn stormed to the kitchen to find Cassian looking flabbergasted. She posted her hands on the breakfast bar. “It’s not your kitchen. You don’t get to have an opinion.”

            “You don’t even have basic seasonings.”

            “I don’t _need_ ‘basic seasonings,’ ” she replied, using air quotes. “You have a problem with it, you’re welcome to buy them.”

            “Yeah, I’m going to.” He took Jyn’s magnetic shopping list off the fridge, paper with a sulking cat at the top that said, “I’m always out of everything,” and pulled off the attached pen. He quickly jotted a number of things down and ripped the paper off the pad. Jyn grabbed it and looked it over.

            “I can’t even read this,” she said.

            “It’s in Spanish.”

            “Duh, I know that. I just can’t read your handwriting.”

            “You don’t need to.”

            Jyn peered closer. “ ‘Li-la-li…licky’? What’s ‘licky’?”

            “ _Leche_. Milk.”

            “I know _leche_ , Cassian! I was around you long enough to pick up a couple words! And I’m not out of _licky_ ; there’s at least half a gallon left.”

            “That’s expired.” He snatched the list back.

            Suddenly the doorbell rang, and both Jyn and Cassian looked toward it at the same time, then back at each other.

            “You expecting someone?” Cassian asked. Jyn shook her head.

            “No,” she said, “but I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

            She walked over to the door and opened it.

            Her bad feeling was right.

            It was Mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to disappoint, friends. I know some of you wanted the big smut here, and you only got mini-smut. It’s just not the right time yet. But don’t worry, it IS coming (baha).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation comes to a head and explodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you to everyone who is still sticking with this series. I mean really...wow! You guys are really terrific. Did you know that? You really, really are. You're so invested, and it means the whole wide world to me. Thank you, lovelies. You are all, every one of you, wonderful. <3
> 
> All right, super painful stuff coming up. Trigger warning for some serious family issues. This one is brutal. Please don’t hate me. I don’t even know why all this stuff had to happen. 
> 
> This is the end of part 2.

“ _What_ are you doing here?” Jyn asked in horror, barely restraining her voice.

“I had to see Isobel,” he said. His eyes were red and swollen, but Jyn could find no pity for him right now. He had no right to drop in unannounced, and he was going to cause a huge problem if he didn’t leave _right now_.

“Now’s not a good time,” Jyn said. “I’ll let you know when it is. Thanks.”

She began to shut the door, but Mike’s hand shot out and stopped it, and he stepped over the threshold. “Jyn, _please_ ,” he said. “I am begging you. I need to see my daughter.”

 _“Mike,”_ Jyn said, gritting her teeth. _“Now is not a good time.”_

“Why not? You can at least tell me that, can’t you?”

“Because Isobel isn’t ready for this yet. I haven’t prepared her.”

“She doesn’t have to know,” Mike said. “Does she?”

“Yes, she does,” Jyn said. “This isn’t going to go away. I know this isn’t easy – ”

“So don’t make it more difficult.” Mike brushed past Jyn and walked into the house. “Iz, Daddy was in the neighbor – ”

He stopped dead when he saw Cassian. Jyn balled her hands into fists.

“Ah,” Mike said. “I can see why this was a bad time.” He turned to Jyn. “That didn’t take long.”

“It’s not what you think,” Jyn said, “and it’s still not any of your business. Cassian has every right to – ”

“Daddy!” Isobel cried when she saw him.

“Hey, kiddo!” Mike exclaimed, grabbing her up.

“Mommy, you didn’t say Daddy was coming over!” Isobel had a giant smile on her face as she bounced in Mike’s arms.

“I didn’t know,” Jyn said. “It was quite the surprise. But he’s going now. He was just in the neighborhood for something and had a minute. Mike, let’s – ”

“Not until I’ve had a chance to catch up with my little girl,” Mike said with a smile. He brushed Isobel’s hair back from her shoulder. Jyn chanced a glance at Cassian, who was stock still, staring at Mike and Isobel. His fists were clenched, too.

 _“Mike,”_ Jyn said. _“Think. Of. Isobel.”_

Nina came out of the playroom. “What’s going on?” she asked. She looked up at Cassian. “Daddy?”

Mike’s head came up. “Oh, you have another one!” he said. Nina looked over at him, while Jyn looked on in shock and horror and prayed this didn’t devolve further.

“You need to go,” Cassian said to Mike. “Right now.”

Mike shrugged. “I belong here more than you do.”

Jyn reached for her cell phone. “You need to leave,” she said, “or I’m going to call the cops on you.”

“Jyn, don’t,” Cassian said, coming around the side of the breakfast bar to stand next to her. “Mike, be reasonable. You’re hurting these children.”

“What’s going on?” Isobel asked in a small voice. “Daddy?”

Cassian stepped up to Mike and easily tugged Isobel out of his grasp. He crouched down between her and Nina. “We have boring adult stuff to talk about. Why don’t you two go play in the playroom? Put on some music. Okay?”

The girls nodded and ran off down the hall. Jyn hoped they’d be far enough away, and that the “adults,” as they were supposed to be, could keep their voices down and keep things under control.

Cassian slowly stood from his crouch, and even though he was smaller than Mike, he was much more imposing.

“You need to leave,” he said again. “Right now.”

“I have every right to be here,” Mike said. “You don’t.”

“I’m her father,” Cassian said quietly. “I deserve to get to know her. You had four years with her. From what I hear, you wasted most of them.”

“Don’t you judge me,” Mike said. “You wouldn’t like it if your girlfriend fucked an old boyfriend, would you?”

“No, but I’d also stop to think that there was a reason she might have done it. I’d wonder if maybe I was part of the problem.”

“Or,” Mike said, turning to Jyn with his arms crossed, “she did it intentionally.”

Jyn raised her eyebrows, not comprehending. “Did what intentionally?”

Mike gestured to Cassian. “You fucked him when we were trying to get pregnant. How do I know you didn’t do it on purpose? That you weren’t trying to get knocked up by him?”

Jyn gaped. “Why would I…? The _fuck_ kind of accusation is that, asshole?!”

“I’ll fight you on this,” Mike said. “I’ll fight you to see Isobel.”

“You have no legal right,” Jyn said in as low a voice as she could manage. “I’m willing to discuss you being in her life, but you’re legally not her father.”

“I’ll adopt her, then,” Mike said, his voice rising. “I’m more her father than him!”

“Keep your voice down!” Jyn hissed. “They’ll hear you!”

“I _will_ see her. _It doesn’t matter_ that I’m not really her father and Cassian is! _I raised her!_ ”

From behind them came a loud gasp. Jyn looked over Mike’s and Cassian’s shoulders to see Isobel and Nina hiding behind the arched wall, Isobel’s hand over her mouth.

“You’re not my daddy…?” she said from behind her hand. Her voice was shaky. Nina looked at her and tugged on her sleeve.

“It’s okay,” she said. “This means we really are sisters.”

But Isobel turned and fled, running up the stairs to her room.

Jyn rounded on Mike. “Good job, Mike. Really good. _Get. Out. Now._ ”

“Jyn, it comes from a place of love,” he said as he walked out. “I want you to know that.”

Jyn slammed the door in his face. Then she slid her fingers into her hair, trying to catch her breath, and swayed against the door. Cassian was by Nina, talking to her softly and comforting her.

“Why was he so mean to Isobel?” Nina asked. “What did she do wrong?”

Jyn walked by them. “I have to go talk to Iz.”

Cassian caught her hand, and she stopped. He stood and hugged her, and she clung on to him. “I don’t know what to say,” she said, her voice breathy.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.

All Jyn could do was close her wet eyes and nod.

 

Isobel was in her room sitting on her bed, her legs pulled up and her arms wrapped around them. Tooka the cat was sitting next to her, purring, a sure sign that something was wrong given the cat’s blatant dislike of her.

Jyn tapped on the door with her knuckles. “Honey? Can Cassian and I talk to you?”

Isobel sniffled and shook her head. “Go away.”

“We really want to talk to you.” Jyn came into the room and sat down on the bed next to Isobel. She stroked her hair, but Isobel remained unmoving. “I’m sorry you heard all that. You weren’t supposed to.”

“I don’t understand.” She looked up at Jyn, tears streaking down her cheeks. “Why would Daddy say that? Does he not want me anymore? Did I do something bad? I didn’t meant to break Misti’s blush. It wasn’t even as pretty as yours,” she added with a mutter as she tucked her chin back between her knees. “When I was over there last time, she said you worked too much and didn’t have time for me and shouldn’t be raising me, and that Daddy should. No one wants me.”

“I do want you,” Jyn said, still running her fingers through the girl’s dark tresses. “That’s never been in question. We just…learned recently that…Daddy is actually a friend.” Isobel looked up, and she looked like she was about to shatter. “Oh, Iz, I’m so sorry. This isn’t how you were supposed to find out.”

“He’s a fake daddy?” Isobel asked as she swiped her sleeve across her nose. Her eyes went to Cassian, lingering in the doorway. “Then who’s my real daddy?”

“I am,” Cassian said gently. He indicated the bed. “Can I sit next to you?” Isobel nodded, and he joined them.

“Why weren’t you my real daddy?” Isobel asked. “Why did I have a fake daddy? Did _you_ not want me?”

“No, never,” Cassian said. “There was some…” – he looked at Jyn – “…confusion. I know it’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

Isobel shook her head again and put her forehead on her knees. “I don’t understand.”

“We’re going to find someone for you to talk to,” Jyn said. “Someone who’ll help you understand.”

Isobel sniffled again. “Nina said her daddy left when she was little and all she wanted was a daddy again. She wished on stars and asked Santa. Then one year she got a daddy.”

Jyn looked over at Cassian. “Do you know this?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never heard this.”

“Everyone is always too busy for me,” Isobel sobbed. Jyn clutched her to her chest as her shoulders shook. “No one wants me.”

“That’s not true, Iz,” Jyn said, feeling her own tears brimming. “I know I’ve been working too much, and you’re right: I haven’t been spending enough time with you. I don’t even like my job. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I’ll find something else to do. Would you like that?”

Isobel nodded into Jyn’s now-wet shirt. “Uh-huh.”

“And we’ll figure out a way to make all this easier on you. There are a lot of questions and things to be figured out, and we will. We’ll figure them all out, one by one. It’ll just take time.”

“I just want a daddy who lives with us,” Isobel cried as Jyn rocked her back and forth in her lap.

“I can do that,” Cassian said, and Jyn shot him a sharp look.

 _“Cassian,”_ she hissed. He didn’t look up at her, his eyes on his daughter.

“Isobel,” he said, “if that’s what you really want, I’ll do it. I know you don’t know me very well, and you’re not used to me, but…I can at least try. Will you let me try?”

“I need to talk to you,” Jyn said to Cassian, untangling herself from Isobel. “Alone.”

They stepped out into the hallway, Jyn pulling the bedroom door closed behind them.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” she demanded, her voice again a low hiss.

“I’m trying to mend that little girl’s broken heart!” Cassian replied. “She’s heartbroken, Jyn!”

“And you’re going to just…swoop in here and fix it? This is a mess!”

“She wants a father around. I’m a father. I can be around.”

“Not like this.” Jyn put her hand to her forehead and turned away from him. She took a deep breath, slowly let it out again. “Cassian, you and I are not exactly on, like…not-weird terms right now. Things are weird. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to live here. Plus, you didn’t ask,” she muttered under her breath.

“Why?” he asked. “Why isn’t it a good idea? Isobel comes first here.”

Jyn whirled on him. “You can’t just move into my house! We’re not a couple! We’re not looking to ‘move things to the next level’ and start living together! Shit, we didn’t even live together when we were sleeping together!”

“So?” he fired back. “That’s why it’ll work! Roommates, Jyn. That’s all.”

He said it like it was final, and put his hand on the doorknob.

 _“Roommates?”_ Jyn replied, wanting to laugh. “You’ve got to be joking. You can’t be serious, Cassian.”

“We just need to be civil to each other. Do you think you can do that?”

“Do you think you can come to my bed without needing to be jerked off?”

“Debatable.”

Jyn threw up her hands. “We’re already arguing. This isn’t going to work. This is a fucking racket. I just, I can’t even deal with this today.” She turned away, intent on heading back down the stairs to grab drinks for her and Isobel while they continued their talk.

Cassian grabbed her wrist and stepped up behind her, his body too close, invading her personal space. “Just what,” he said, “are you afraid of?”

“Being irritated all the time,” Jyn replied, not liking how his breath felt on the back of her neck. “Fighting. Being angry. Punching you. Punching my house and my furniture. Let me go.”

“You’re afraid of falling in love with me again,” he said. “Same as I’m afraid of falling in love with you again.”

Jyn turned to face him. “No,” she said firmly. “That’s not it. We’ve agreed that’s over and we’re not going back to it. Take your ego down a few notches, please.”

“Fine,” Cassian said. “Then we need to make some rules.”

“Fine. No bed-sharing.”

“Agreed. I will never come to your bed, and I expect you to stay away from mine.”

“I get the blender in the morning,” Jyn said. “Non-negotiable.”

“I need space in the freezer for my breakfast sandwiches.”

“You can make them for a lot cheaper, you know. There’s a recipe on Pinterest. No walking around naked, even if the children are asleep.”

“No walking around without a bra,” Cassian added. He put his hands on her waist, _under_ her shirt, and yanked her body to his. “You know I don’t like that.”

“Yeah,” Jyn said, “you sure hate it.”

Cassian lowered his head to her neck and began to kiss it. “Final rule,” he said. “No sex under any circumstances.”

“That goes without saying,” Jyn said, even as she tilted her head to the side to allow him better access. “I can’t believe you even had to say it.”

“Well, I wanted to make sure we were clear.” He kissed her jaw, moved up to her ear, then down across her cheek

Then he let go of her and stepped back, away from her, and Jyn’s mind spun at the loss of contact.

“I’ll talk to my leasing office tomorrow,” he said, “and get things in motion. I’ll talk to Nina tonight. We’ll get Isobel into some counseling, and we’ll figure out your job. It’ll be all right.”

“Yeah,” Jyn said dumbly as she watched him head down the stairs to the kitchen to finally make their pancakes. “Sure.”

Everything was still a mess, and, it seemed, even more of one than it had been when they’d woken up. Because now, Isobel knew Mike wasn’t really her dad, and Cassian was, and somehow they had to work through that.

And Cassian and Nina were moving in. Just like she had told Cassian only days ago that she wanted. But…

Cassian Andor was _moving in_.

Jyn clutched the railing of the stairs. She’d dreamed of something like this happening with them, but it had always been a far-off thing, something that was never attainable. Now, somehow, it had happened, in some weird alternate universe of their lives, and it was going to be reality _soon_. Jyn’s emotions were a huge jumble as she tried to sift through everything. Did she _want_ Cassian back in her life like this? Well, it didn’t really matter what she wanted. This was for Isobel anyway. They could always move back out when the girls were old enough to decide what they wanted.

Right?

Jyn gripped the railing harder and stared down at Cassian making breakfast, totally at ease in her kitchen.

Like it or not, this scene was going to become a regularity in her house.

Probably within the week, Cassian would be moved in.

As Jyn watched him, a small smile came to her face, one she couldn’t help. There were, she reflected, _worse_ things. _Worse_ outcomes from Mike’s unexpected visit. It could have gone any number of ways, and it had wound up this way. So maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing.

Yes. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, Jyn thought.

And she thought some more, and she began to hope again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Okay. Still want to continue reading? Writing that chapter gave me anxiety – seriously. I’ve been writing a long time, and I’ve never written something that has brought out that kind of emotion in me. So…um. Yeah. We’re at the end of part 2, and I’ve got some done on part 3 already, but I need to keep working on it and also edit. Things will come down with the dénouement.


End file.
